A Father Looks at Proverbs 31: Part 1 “The Excellent Wife”

An excellent wife, who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Pr 31:10

The writer of this Hebrew poem begins his verse with a rhetorical question: who is able to find an excellent wife? Before hastily providing an answer to the question, its important we determine what is meant by “excellent.” The King James translators used the term “virtuous” in place of “excellent.” When translating the Hebrew, they selected “virtuous” in only two places in addition to Proverbs 31:10.

The first, is Proverbs 12:4 where a virtuous wife is “a crown to her husband.” The other instance occurs in Ruth 3:11, appropriately enough, in the section of that book which beautifully  describes Boaz becoming Ruth’s “kinsman redeemer.” Boaz, in this verse, states that his townspeople know that Ruth is a “virtuous woman.” Notably about this is the one point of Ruth’s virtue which stands out to Boaz is that she had not “gone after young men, rich or poor” [v.10].

First then, an excellent wife is one who is chaste. Hence the subsequent verse, “The heart of her husband trusts in her.” The excellent wife did not become excellent after marriage. She was an excellent young lady who became an excellent wife. She is a cause for boasting from her husband [Pr 12:4] whereas the alternative is a “rotteness” in her husband’s bones. The shameful wife does not bring her husband joy, instead she is constantly in need of the admonition of her loving bridegroom.

Second, “excellent” carries the idea of value. The same term is used in Ge 34:29 where the sons of Jacob carried away the “wealth” of the men of Shechem. Thus, the excellent wife, herself, is a great wealth to her husband. Indeed, “she is far more precious than jewels.” The man who finds an excellent wife finds great wealth which he treasures and protects. He seeks after her and searches her out.

Thirdly, the excellent wife is strong. This term can be used of an army or “band of men.” This woman has inner strength and fortitude. Yes, Peter noted that women are the “weaker vessel” [I Pe 3:7], and should be treated as such; with compassion and understanding. However, it should be noted they are “weaker” and not simply weak. The weakness of a woman is not absolute, but relative. As compared to her husband, a wife is weaker, but she is not weak altogether as to be helpless. The excellent wife does not depend totally on her husband to bring her along in the faith, but she pursues Christ with equal passion. She is not always found wandering in the temples of false gods, but has likewise set her face as a flint toward Christ’s kingdom.

This strength is as much physical as it is spiritual. “She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong” [Pr 31:17]. The godly woman is not a couch potato. Rather, her portait is one of hard work and diligence in labor.

The practical nature of these words is this:

1. As a father, I must teach my daughters to lead chaste lives, having disregard for the pursuit of “young men, rich or poor.”
2. As a father, I must teach my daughters wisdom and the deep truths of Scripture with the same fire and vigor as I would any young man.
3. As a father, I must teach my daughters the value of labor, especially in terms of providing peace, health and comfort to her family.

These things in hand, may the Lord be pleased to make them excellent wives to their husbands!

Young men: As King Lemuel intimates with this rhetorical question, an excellent wife is hard to find. Many beautiful women may be described in the same way Christ described the Pharisees: white washed tombs containing dead men’s bones. Pursue the inner beauty that will provide you with inner joy! But REMEMBER, a crown is worn by a king, not a court jester. The excellent woman is wise and will shun a foolish man [and most particularly her father will!].